the brand new me

Assalamualaikum

lately i'm being so emotional lahhh, really can't control myself and so sorry for my harsh words that had been uttered. i know there's somebody out there who might be hurts by my words indeed. believe me, anger had spoken on behalf of me. now i'm calming myself and ain't let my emotion exaggerated till becoming not who i really am, all out of the world. nonetheless thanks for those who stays with me even at my worst, thousand of thanks for the advise and ideas for me to take this journey to another days ahead. i really appreciate persons who remain stay no matter what, even i hurts them very well.

for the mean time, am kinds of 'redha' for what had been in which makes my world completely in topsy turvy. my mom ever said that when we're just accepting the hard times passed that hit our faces, then Allah will substitutes it with even more better than before. just don't mind, stop thinking about 'what if' 'what if' thingy and move on to the next chapter, come out with solutions is the best by the way.

yeahhh, rock on nik because the boiling water either soften the potato or harden the egg. same goes to when hard situation hits you, either make you weak or strengthen you as wholly. i choose this bad things that happened to strengthen me from my innermost, all out and affecting my attitude. believing in myself that i could build a castle out of all the bricks of failure.

leads a positive life and spread the positive vibe

enough is enough

dah-dah la tu nik, orang tak appreciate kau , so move on jela
sibuk nak mengadah tu apehal ?
stop caring too much, even 10 tahun lagi pun belum tentu orang sedar
nak tunggu kau mati dulu kot baru nak menghargai
itu pun kalau nasib baik la
tapi buat apa nak dikenang2 kau tu.
kau pun tak habis2 duk sibukkan hidup orang
diri sendiri pun tak terurus, ada hati nak menyibuk
who ought to be blame is all you, semua puncanya dari kau
kalau kau tak sibuk dengan orang lain, takkan jadi masalah sakit hati ni
please make a smart move
lupakan orang lain
they don't even need you !
get rid the root of problem which is overly attached.
senang cerita tak payah nak attach2 dengan orang
orang rasa kau tu menyemak je
stop nampak bodoh and jadi bodoh
stop la rasa sedih bagai
kau tu sapa ?
sampah


INGAT
people won't care people won't care people won't care

p/s: i'm never good enough

it's hurt when the person who you really care about let you down and i choose this situation to strengthen me

i'm really disappointed

future phobia

topik tu tak leh blaaa la.

actually macam ni, bukan phobia sangat cumanya takut la untuk hadapi kenyataan on how i'm gonna create my future. masa depan ni bukan sesuatu perkara yang mudah untuk dibawa main2. salah ukir masa depan, lingkup sampai 7 keturunan. asbabnya kita mungkin akan beranak pinak, ada family, of course la family yang macam mana depends pada apa yang kita lakar pada masa sekarang. hidup ni bukanlah fairytale yang berdurasi selama 2jam30minit yang tuptup dah sampai happy ending. maybe lah kita akan ada happy ending tapi nak dapatkan happy ending tu payah tau tak ! 

apa yang aku cuba nak sampaikan isssss i'm scared that i can't pursue in degree in law because i'm obtained only band 3 in MUET meanwhile i can't retake MUET for this time being in order to pursue degree in 2015 due to the reason that UPU intake starts from 19jan until 6apr 2015. ahhhh lemah ! sedih tau tak. i'm crying for almost 4 nights constantly started from the day when result had been announced. psychologically i'm bent and crook. i go through my day unmotivated, and almost everyday my friends trying to instill back my confidence by convince me that everything in Allah's hand. He knows what i've been through and what i'm up to. they ever said that everything depends on 'rezeki', a gift from above. maybe there are lots of 'hikmah'. gila padu kata2 dorang. seriously, tiap2 hari aku menangis, tiap kali duduk sorang2 dalam bilik mesti overthinking, risau tak dapat sambung law, risau tak dapat band 4, segala benda risau. sumpah. i'm literally broken. i don't have any idea untuk tempuh hari2 mendatang. tulah sebab semua perit tu aku sorang je yang tahu, dan Allah. the day lepas dapat result, i'm trying to lifting my endeavor untuk search requirement U untuk intake course law. cari jugaklah U mana yang ambil band 3. what i know, i can't give up on muet, i haven't seen anything yet beside of law. sayang gila lah masa diploma cgpa aku 3.53, end up tak sambung law, nauzubillah. harap sangat dapat sambung law. my friends asking me for pray harder. in shaa Allah, Allah bantu. i don't have any last resort since belum isi UPU lagi so i lays everything on Allah's hand. in shaa Allah there is any possible ways.

la tahzan, innAllaha ma'aana 

don't be sad, Allah be with us

love,

little me