i am alive

Assalamualaikum

whoever out there who facing whatever problem which seems so stale and can't be solved, please remember that the test are meant to be a blessing in disguise. when He says no to something, He says yes to something even greater. i don't even know how my life could turn to be like this. tak pernah terbayang yang dengan keputusan kemasukan uni yg aku dapat tu boleh buat my world in topsy turvy. sejujurnya, aku menangis for almost a week. and i've been questioning myself tak pandai sangat ke aku ni, aku tak layak ke, kenapa aku bla...bla...bla...macam tak percaya dengan takdir and jalan hidup aku sendiri. and bayangkan how devastated i was bila my bestfriends yang bertiga lagi tu dapat degree in law unisza jugak, they will be a classmate. i was like what the fish is going on? sedih gila tuhan je tahu, rasa pointless je hidup aku that moment and somehow i had isolated myself from everyone else. one night, i lay on my bed, not intended to sleep yet, just staring pointlessly at the ceiling, wonder what the whole world might do. drowned deep into my imagination, then something, a thought just hit me abruptly, kind of whisper that whispering me a motivation, for me to wake up and see everything in the best way that they should be. for me to have a faith towards Allah, for his plan over me is the greatest plan. He loves me and i am strong enough so that He knows that i'm capable to go through this. i felt that i have that strength to head up facing entirely a new day ahead. that mystical amuse which i felt that "nahhh, why should i cry over spilled milk?". my eyes teary, not over the sadness that i felt entire week, but because i have let myself not believing in Allah, not putting 100% of confidence towards His planning and capability of. my biggest regret i ought to admit. i don't know how to explain all of this but i know, He is setting everything right. i need to be cool and relax. apart from that, He helps me all this while through another method, speaking of which, He channeling His help towards someone else. i'm glad that everyone i spoke to, end up come out with solutions, advises, and even physically helping me regarding my rayuan things. right at the moment, i know that there's nothing beyond repair. what i need to do is do my best for my rayuan and be gratitude over everything. that was the utmost important. i woke up the day after, Alhamdulillah i'm fine, i'm willing to do anything for seeking a happiness for myself. i know He has prepared something to me, that even bigger and of course the best. these days have been just hard for me but i'm glad that i regain some strength and motivation for me walking in this garden of  thorny roses. perceive misfortunes in some way leads us to another best path that we never think of. keep it subtle and be cool !